Sunday, September 27, 2009

If I had time in a bottle...or a Starbucks

Daily Stats:
Words: yes
Caffeine: morning cup so far
Evil Calories: Cherry pie, raspberry scones and chocolate chip cookies. Yes, sometimes all at the same time.

Okay, I have a plan. I know this makes you happy because surly you've been sitting by your computer going, "when is that crackpot going to come up with a plan?". Well, your wait is over. Because as I was fidgeting with my hair this morning trying to give the illusion that I sort of care about my appearance, I suddenly realized that I now have something that is more valuable than a shopping spree at a Macy's 1 Day Sale (okay, nothing is really more valuable than that, but just go with me, kay?) No, no, it's not wisdom or love or anything cheesy like that. It's time. Yes, time. See, darling child has started preschool, and though it's been a bumpy ride trying to convince him that a) school is fun and b) mommy would never, ever leave him, except for this small block of time where I do actually leave him (paging Dr. Freud), it dawned on me this morning that once I get over the trauma of dropping him off, I have TWO AND A HALF HOURS TO MYSELF. TWO AND A HALF HOURS. Funny how that can perk a distraught mommy right up! So, my plan is to head to the nearest library/Starbucks after dropping darling child off at school and reacquainting myself with that little old thing called MY BOOK. Hello, it's been almost a year. I'm almost fully engulfed in lameness for not finishing it already. And, I figure if I'm at the nearest library/Starbucks, I'll be close enough to darling child's school that if he consumes massive amounts of paste or gets a globe lodged in his eye, I can easily come to the rescue. So, there it is. Rock on with the plan!!!!

What? Oh, you were thinking my plan involved a solution for our real problems, ie. no job and house falling apart? Geez, gimme a break, I'm not Wonder Woman, people. I mean, yes, yes, I'm fully aware that if things don't change within the next few months and darling husband can't find a job, I'll have to dig out my "non-fat pant" clothing and go back to work myself. But the thought of it kinda makes me want to throw up in my mouth. So I'm not thinking about it until it actually has to happen. Until then, I'm holding on the delusion that I'm the next JK Rowling. What? It could happen.

Monday, September 21, 2009

A New Hope

Daily Stats:
Words: jackhammers on my kitchen floor
Caffeine: morning cup so far
Evil Calories: I can't even talk about it. Kitchen has been out of commission for a few days, so we've had to resort to fast food. Why does everything at McDonalds taste like it's been fried in ass?

So, as you've probably noticed, I decided to change my banner again. I had to get rid of my zombie eye. It was scaring the children. Plus, I like the image of this woman. She looks annoyed, yet slightly hopeful. Kind of echos how I've been feeling lately. If you've missed all the fun, allow me to catch you up. Darling husband's company went "poof", potential new job in Denver went "poof", one of our cats went "poof", and a pipe in our kitchen floor went "poof". It's been a trying couple months to say the least. Oh, and say goodbye to Sexy Beast. Soon he'll be going "poof" into the arms of a new mommy who can afford a $900 computer. I'll be purchasing an $80 hard drive for my old Powerbook. Yes, the one that died the slooooooooooow, alarmingly noisy death back in March. The one that gives me copious amounts of rage. The one I've threatened to run over with my car and put the remains in a blender. Yep. Rough times, people.

Funny thing is that I know what we're going through is simply an echo of where our country is at the moment. We don't hope for the same things we used to hope for. We used to hope for more money, better jobs, bigger houses, nicer cars, better clothes, more, more, more! Now we just hope we're able to keep what we already have. Though I've had momentary delusions of winning the HGTV Fall Fixup sweepstakes, I really just want to keep my house. If some little corner of the universe could flex its muscles and just make that happen, I'd be a happy camper. I'm not even asking to keep my house and be able to fix the 473 other things wrong with it. I'll be happy to take it "as is", with the carpet stained and the doorwall window cracked and the basement still tore up and looking like the unibomber's family room. I have a fabulous imagination and am totally willing to pretend like we live in a hip, industrial loft with all the exposed brick and slab floor. And, okay, I'll even give up on my hopes of one day having landscaping that doesn't resemble the side of the I-75 freeway at 8 Mile. If we could just move "keeping the house" to the top of the to-do list, that would be super great. Kay? Kay.

In other news, I've written exactly zilch in my WIP. With all the "poof"ing that's been going on, I'm afraid to touch it, lest my MC will just lurch out of my computer, punch me in the face and run away. I'll work up my nerve one of these days. Just not today. I already spilled coffee all over my favorite fat pants and got a bobby pin stuck in my hair. Maybe tomorrow...

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

long time no bloggy

Daily Stats:
Words: no words, just long, heavy sighs
Caffeine: morning cup + midday iced mocha
Evil Calories: have successfully perfected my cinnamon roll recipe. Have also perfected my fat-assness in the process. Woot.

I know, I know, I've been away for a while. Don't act like you didn't miss me. Admit it, you've been checking daily to see if I've returned to regularly scheduled snarkiness. Well, here I am. I wish I was popping in to report utter fabulousness, but alas, I'm really just here to mope and feel sorry for myself, something I don't normally practice or condone. However, life has been serving up some serious sucker punches lately, and, well, I'm not made of wood, you know.

To sum up without boring you or making you outclick before I finish - a) hubby's company went under, so we're currently unemployed b) house is falling apart, kitchen smells like moldy bottoms mixed with tangy socks and basement keeps flooding and c) they stopped making my favorite flavor of Triscuits. These are the dark times, people.

So, needless to say, I haven't really been in the mood to write as much as I've been in the mood to freak out and panic. It's really hard to do both. But, in the moments where I sit down with a nice glass of Rose' (my new favorite summer beverage) and chill the hell out, I have contributed quality material to my WIP. I keep having this vision that the moment the bank comes to take away our house keys, I'll get "the call" from an agent, kind of like that movie The Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio where she wins the jingle contest right when the family is about to lost the house and disband.

Of course, that means I actually have a) finish and b) query it around, which sounds like a lot of work. With all this panicking and freaking out, my plate is pretty full.