The other night, after a reckless Kit-Kat binge, I had a bizarre dream. I was tending bar at a party in a hotel. All the of the party goers were writers (except for one person - the lady who mans the self check-out station at my local grocery store was there standing off in the corner, giving me the evil eye as she always does. Not sure if she's just a grumpy person or if I look like someone who might try and steal lettuce). The party goers would order their drinks and then get very upset with me because all I had to mix drinks together was ice and maple syrup. Trying to deflect their irritation with me, I handed them each a fake mustache from under the bar. When they'd put them on, they'd each get a brilliant idea for a book. They were so distracted by their new idea that they forgot all about the lack of alcohol.
Then I looked down and I didn't have feet. (This happens a lot in my dreams. Not sure what it means.)
Of course, at one point in the dream, I tried putting a mustache on and...nothing. Zip. Nada. Suddenly, stink-eye lady from the grocery store was bartending next to me, and she said, "It only works on them. They're real writers."
Wow...bite me, stink-eye lady.
I'm sure the dream would have gone on if She Who Refuses To Sleep Like A Normal Human hadn't jarred me awake with a swift whack in the face (yes, She Who Refuses To Sleep Like A Normal Human ends up in our bed almost every night in an effort to coax her into sleeping more. It rarely works, btw.). But, honestly, my subconscious wouldn't have needed to elaborate any further. I know what it all means (except for the missing feet thing). I've been querying my book and, of course, it's a trying experience. Stacks of rejections, handfuls of requests, more rejections, more requests... It's all good and I'm so very grateful for the whole experience, but, one minute you're feeling like it could actually happen, and the next you're feeling like you want to crawl into a corner with a gigantic box of Hostess products. (Okay, I usually have the urge to break into Hostess products regardless of whether I'm up or down, but you get the idea.)
Regardless, I may venture out to Target and hit the Halloween clearance bins for a fake mustache. You know...just to see what happens...