Tuesday, February 21, 2012

I don't care. Just an FYI.

Last week, I emailed my sister with my fears that I was hurling headfirst into an "almost 40" crisis because I have this overwhelming desire to put a streak of blue in my hair.  Just a streak.  (Remember Nancy from the first Nightmare on Elm Street movie?  Like that, except blue.  And preferably done in a salon and not as a reaction to being haunted by a crusty dude in horizontal stripes.)  Here was her response:

Here’s the thing about turning 40 (even though you’re not there yet).  40 isn’t the new 30.  40 is “I’m 40, so I can do whatever the hell I want, and I don’t care what you think.”  

I love this.  I'm going to put in on a t-shirt.  Tattoo it onto the inside of my hand.  Sneak out at night and spray paint it on freeway overpasses.  So, the following are a few things that I'm going to do.  And since I'm (almost) 40, I can do whatever the hell I want and I don't care what you think. (Unless you think its cool.  Then I’ll want to hug you and buy you ice cream.)

Put a streak of blue in my hair

Sing Total Eclipse of the Heart at a karaoke bar in Vegas (because every now and then I get a little bit terrified, but then I see the look in your eyes.) 

Learn how to shoot a gun

Wear silly shirts, like this one, or this one

Take up roller derby*

Tell rude, inconsiderate people that they're being rude and inconsiderate**

Wear aforementioned blue streaked hair in braids and snap my bubble gum

Write a book based loosely on my experience with the douche knuckle who made my life hell in high school***

Get this tattooed on my back****


You were thinking you'd see far more exciting things, like skydiving and bungee jumping?

No.  I'm a total wuss and am DEATHLY afraid of heights.  You will never see me jumping off anything higher than the footstool in my kitchen.  I'm fine with this.  You should be, too.

*I say this with the caveat that I've spent the last 38 years of my life realizing that I do not belong on wheels.  It's just one of those things.  Wheels + me = not awesome.  I tried to learn to rollerblade several years ago and I distinctly remember taking out my roommate.  Like, PLOWING into her in the middle of the street and sending her into the bushes.  But, since roller derby is about plowing into people, maybe it'll work out. 

**Okay, I already do tell rude, inconsiderate people that they're being rude and inconsiderate, but often times I don't come off as mature as I’d like.  My goal is to convey my disdain eloquently.  Perhaps whilst sipping tea and wearing a flowery hat. 

***This obviously isn't that controversial, but my "don't care" moment comes in when I hear people say things like, "Oh, the whole Y/A bully thing is so ten minutes ago".  I.  Don't.  Care.  It's a story I want to tell.  If writers only write what they think is on trend, we'd have nothing out there but poo. 

****I know, I know.  My homegirl Circe has issues.  And, yes, technically, she's poisoning the water.  But I've always loved this picture.  And I think it would be a very cool tattoo with all the blues. 


Jen Daiker said...

I love finding new blogs on days these types of posts are written! They're my absolute favorite!

My mother is 53 and has never had more fun in her life. I tell you, the older you are the more fun you get to have... I see it daily!

PS - Take up Roller Derby. I go to all the bouts in Houston and I'm addicted. If you're ever in town, let me know, you'll become an addict!

Vivi said...

Hey, Jen!! Thanks for the visit! Your blog always makes me smile. :) I'm going to totally follow your mom's lead! Having fun keeps you young at heart.

That's awesome that you're into Roller Derby! I had someone last week try and talk me into doing it here in MI. She said she's lost FORTY pounds. Forget yoga! I wanna lose weight while crashing into people! :)

T. Z. Wallace said...

I will be 40 in July, and my reaction was to finally finish the novel I have been working on. It is no blue streak, I know...but really, blue wouldn't go very well with my hair...and my hair is too short to braid.

I, too, hate heights. I am not particularly athletic.

Ok, so clearly a new novel is just the way I roll.

Maybe I will get more adventuresome AFTER I turn 40...?

Amy said...

Your sister is a GENIUS! And, since I'm almost 43, I forget that other people can hear me talking to myself when I utter, "SERIOUSLY?"at random rude stupidity.

The AT-AT shirt isn't silly. It's an important statement on our childhood.

But I think you should get this shirt:

And just point to yourself when people get rude and out of line.

I do tell everyone that my injury came from roller derby. I will send you a Rat City Roller Girls shirt just to make this all the more authentic.

Amy said...

And speaking of Circe, did you ever read A Great & Terrible Beauty? If not, DO IT NOW.

Vivi said...

T.Z. - Hey, finishing a novel is a HUGE accomplishment! And much more stylish than a streak of blue hair. :)

Amy - I did and loved it!!

Ray Veen said...

Yes -- roller derby! I'll really come watch you. Not kidding at all.

Any thoughts on a name? Something-blue-Circe-poison-streak?

JRuud said...

Love this post, seriously!! Different and refreshing as well as your blog! :)

Jewel Allen said...

Hi Vivi! Funny, before I turned 30, I had a must-do list (like driving a semi, don't ask me why). When I turned 40 last August, I didn't. It felt pretty mellow. So be sure to share pics of your blue hair. :-)

Vivi said...

Ray - I'm SO bad at names/titles, etc. Maybe ViviVanGo? HA!

JRudd - Thank you, darlin'! And thanks so much for stopping by!

Jewel - I SWEAR I'm not just saying this to be nice...in all the pics I've seen of you, I would have never guessed you were much past 30! Wow, lady, what's your secret??? :)