Saturday, May 19, 2012


I'm a weird mom.  It's okay, I'm used to it by now.  (No one else is, but who cares.)  

For a while, I tried to not be a weird mom, but I think I actually came off more weird than I did when I was just being my normal weird self.  I mean, c'mon, there's really nothing more wack-a-do than a weird person trying to act normal.  It's just awkward for everyone involved.  

The cool thing is that I have my kids totally snowed.  They have no clue that I'm weird.  For instance, we often have dance-offs in the kitchen while I'm cooking.  I convince them they're dancing for their food, and if they don't bust out some floor moves, they'll have to eat cat food for dinner.  Or, instead of cartoons, we often watch things like The Top 100 Heavy Metal Songs on VH1.  It usually goes something like this:

Child: "Mommy, what's a Dokken?"
Me: "Well, honey, once upon a time there was this place called The 80's.  It was magical and full of men like Mr. Dokken, with big hair and way too much eyeliner and mommy wanted to marry ALL of them!"
Child: "Oh.  Okay."

And then I usually teach him the proper way to jump over a microphone stand and, more times than not, we end up getting way too creative and then this happens:

Sometimes if you stand perfectly still in our house and listen, you can actually hear the sound of their cute little brains being warped.  

But then, the boychild does something like this, and it makes me realize that he is epically full of awesome, and the dance offs and the head banging and the goth gloves can only add to the well of awesome:
That's right.  It's effing Iron Man.

...and LOKI!  
...and Thor.  In a metal bikini.  

See, for most people, this would be "oh, whatevs, he drew comic book characters".  But for me, being a ginormous's full on freakin', frackin' bat-shit AWESOME.  

So, for those who think I'm weird and think my kids are weird, I say, "Yep.  Pretty much."  

And then I give them the devil horns and do the splits in the air. 


Matthew MacNish said...

You sound like a freaking awesome mom to me.

Tony Van Helsing said...

Full marks for mentioning Dokken, next time try to get Ratt in there as well.

Vivi said...

Matthew - Thank you! That's what I keep telling CPS.

Tony - See, I mentioned Dokken because they're the band I'm the LEAST embarrassed to admit that I loved. But just between you and me, I know every lyric to every Ratt song ever made. Yes, STILL.