Tuesday, August 26, 2008

buy a brain

Daily Stats:
Words: 1000
Caffeine: morning cup + midmorning cappuccino
Evil Calories: scones (yes, again. I'm addicted. Shut up.)
Reality TV: something on Bravo

So, I've been doing a bit of selling on ebay lately. After doing some (very, very late) spring cleaning, I realized that A) I have a shit-ton of crap and B) there likely to be someone who will pay good money for said crap.

And I was right. Woohoo for me!

But, of course, during this process I've encountered the most inept people on the planet. Now, I need them to be a little bit inept in order for them to want my "last-season" cast-offs, but are they not teaching basic writing and grammar in schools anymore? Was that cut along with the music programs and drama clubs?

For example, I was selling a gently used Nine West handbag, and I get this question from a potential bidder: "Is bag red it looks pink in the pic, how mny timse used?" Okay, first, it says right in my description that the bag is RED (and p.s. put down the hookah, it doesn't look remotely pink in the picture). Second, there's this really, really fun new thing called PUNCTUATION!!!! You should use it. It might raise your IQ a few points (which will put you right above pound cake). And third, I think you're trying to ask me how many times the bag was used. I said in the description that it was only used 3 times. How do you get out of the house in the morning? It seems like the doorknob would be too advanced for you.

Now, I wanted to sell this bag, so I had to grit my teeth and send a non-insulting email back answering her lame-ass questions. In the end, someone who could actually form a sentence won the auction. I'm assuming the first "brainy" girl either forgot the auction was ending or kept trying to log on to her microwave.

*rubs temples*

Oh, well. The money I'm making is worth little bouts of stupidity I guess. Not that I'm making that much, mind you. Enough to buy a new handbag that I'll only use 3 times. See...circle of life.


Elizabeth said...

I bought my Madonna tickets on ebay.


no I'm still not over your insult about her

but I'm sure I can be bribed

Big Plain V said...

Hi Heels-lady. I followed you here from Elizabeth's blog.

So what do you write? Judging from your last couple posts, I'd say 'humorous essays'. Like David Sedaris, only more fashionable, and you're actually a girl.

Anyway, nice-looking blog, nice-looking writing... I could hang out here from time-to-time. My house is kind of messy...