Friday, February 29, 2008

Don't Bitch-Slap the Waiter

Daily Stats
Words: more than three, less than four thousand
Caffeine: morning cup + midmorning cappuccino
Evil Calories: left over apple pie from dinner out last night....tastes a little like feet, but the general idea is there
Reality TV: Project Runway reruns

Let me begin by saying that I know I'm not the most hilarious person ever in the history of time. I make no claim to be that charming. But, I've got thirty-some years of being told I'm "cute" to know that I'm at least working with something here. So, why then, when I go out to dinner and make a harmless joke about the salad, can I not even get any love from the waiter? He's being paid crappy minimum wage to bring me my food. His tip depends on how fabulous he makes me feel. Laugh at my sub-par joke, dude. I know you're distracted by the twelve-year-old with her thong hanging out at the table next to ours, but focus! I'm not saying my joke was funny, but it deserved at least a smirk. I would have even accepted a nose wrinkle. Something!!

Anyway...So, I think I might be a little on edge. It's officially been six weeks since that agent requested the partial, and I have yet to hear back. Clearly she blew her nose in it, then used it to line her trash can before she threw her half drunk latte away. I knew I shouldn't have spent the extra money on 30% recycled paper. Drat!

2 comments:

Ramen w/ Cheese & Tuna said...

I almost fell off the couch when I saw I had a comment. Wonderful to meet you and thanks for your encouraging compliments! My guilty reality show pleasure is Hell’s Kitchen. Even screaming and cursing is pleasurable when done in a British accent. Plus I get to look at all that food I can’t eat… I’m just taken a new job so I’m slow on the response, but I’ve started reading/heartily enjoying your blog (from beginning and end!). But don't slap the waiters! Who knows what they'll do in that kitchen...

Eileen said...

Bleah. I hate waiting to hear back. Fingers crossed the partial turns to a full.