Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Send Prozac Now!

Daily Stats
Words: winter sucks the moose
Caffeine: morning cup + midmorning cappuccino + midafternoon Bailey's spiked cappuccino
Evil Calories: cookies...a whole sleeve in one sitting...sad...very sad
Reality TV: Project Runway

I hate winter. I mean I really hate winter. The kind of hate that puts your lip in a permanent snarl. I know full well that if I lived in Miami, I'd eventually get sick of the constant sunshine and heat (say, after about five thousand years or so), but when I find myself sinking into the ass-crack of winter, it's all I can do to not throw all my most prized possesions into the car (espresso machine, laptop, bag of Ruffles and my fat pants) and head south for good.

Needless to say, the evilness of winter has seeped into my brain, freezing all my creative snarkiness, and I'm finding it hard to write. Especially when the other enemy, TNT, plays marathons of Law & Order all day long. Hmmm...sit and rack frozen brain trying to work through plotlines or hide under quilt on far-too-comfy-to-be-legal couch with box of cookies watching Benjamin Bratt in all his chiseled glory?

Oh, and to add to the harmony, I am currently wearing a patch over my right eye. My left eye is "lazy", so this is my futile attempt at bulking up the muscle so I can actually read stop signs without squinting like a ninety year old.

Perhaps I should apply the same theory to my left butt cheek or my cankles, which are also "lazy".

1 comment:

Eileen said...

Ass crack of winter? Snort. That is a coffee spew worthy line.

Congrats on the partial request from the agent too!