Friday, May 9, 2008

Knock at Your Own Risk

Daily Stats
Words: many
Caffeine: morning cup + midmorning cappuccino
Evil Calories: leftover Chinese food from last night
Reality TV: Top Chef reruns

Reason number 87 why I sometimes wish I still lived in an apartment. Solicitors. Did you know that even if you put one of those grumpy "NO SOLICITING" signs on your front door, these annoying people will STILL come to your house? But here's my favorite. When you are busy writing (most likely a pivotal scene that shouldn't be interrupted) and you have to answer the door to someone from a roofing/siding/window company and they say something like this: "I was just walking by..." (Yes, I,too, always go for a nice, leisurely stroll with a stack of pamphlets and a clipboard) "...and I noticed that your gutters need some work." Okay, this is just rude. What right do you have to make comments about my gutters? If you were just "walking by" as you claim, what kind of an asshole comes to someones door and starts picking on their house? And what if my gutters and my pride and joy? And what the crap is wrong with them? They're fine. That dude with the exposed butt-crack who inspected my house before I bought it said they were hunky dory! So, you noticed that my gutters are bad? Well, I noticed that you have a lame-ass job. And bad hair. And you should perhaps let your acid washed jeans know that it's not 1987 anymore!

I mean, God, I stay inside my house on purpose in hopes of avoiding stupid-ass annoying people, but apparently there's just no place safe anymore.

1 comment:

Elizabeth said...

I admit it. I am rude to solicitors. I wont even open the front door, I see them through the window and then say "No Thanks!" really loud through the closed door.
If they call, I do the same interupting their monologue. And then hang up without waiting for a response.
Pray for me.
I have zero seconds to spare in my day, I'm not wasting it on sales people.
I'm going to hell.