Friday, November 9, 2007

Brain go squish

Daily Stats
Words: 1600+
Nanowrimo Novel Word Count: 13,305
Caffeine: morning cup + midmorning cappuccino + afternoon cappuccino + late afternoon cappuccino (I can see through time...)
Evil Calories: cardboard-like cookies on sale at Target. Very bad. But good at the same time.
Reality TV: suspended due to Nanowrimo

Ugh, this Nanowrimo stuff is killing me. It's sucking all my will to be snarky. By the time I've hit my 1600 words for the day, I'm completely dry. Ok...must be snarky. Must dig deep, root around in psyche...has to be something....

Misuse of hazard lights. Yes!

Ok, people, listen. As shocking as it may sound, the hazard lights on your vehicle are not, I repeat, are NOT to be used when you're having trouble finding Bubba's Chicken Shack. Just because you're lost doesn't mean that you can confiscate the right lane simply so you can cram your pie hole. They need to announce this on the news or something so everyone knows. Hazard lights..now hold on cuz this is going to be hard to grasp...ARE FOR HAZARDOUS SITUATIONS! And you not getting your daily allotment of trans fat is NOT a hazardous situation. Your car dead on the side of a pitch black road is a hazardous situation. Your car being towed at a snails pace on the freeway is a hazardous situation. Hazard lights do not give you license to be an asshole. You're an asshole anyway, but do not pull the poor innocent hazard lights down with you!

That's all I got, people.




1 comment:

Emmy said...

What the frackity frick frack is my Google Account login?? Damn you, blogspot! *shakes fist*

I suggest we find someone with electrical skills (meaning, not us) to design I'm a Stupid Asshole blinking lights that people can mount on their cars. They'll come with a Stupid Asshole button to push that looks just like that big EASY button from Staples. They mount it on their dashboard, so that when they decide to merge from 520 to southbound I-5 going 22 mph in their Tahoe and aiming for the Mercer exit, they can just press the Stupid Asshole button, and it will make all the other commuters having to slam on their brakes in the rain feel much better about the situation.