Words: many, many, many
Caffeine: morning cup
Evil Calories: chocolate cake that most certainly added to my girth but me no care
Reality TV: Top Chef reruns
First, I would like to share my very favorite Yo Mama joke of all time (and if this joke happens to offend anyone, allow me to say in advance, "I don't care!")
Yo Mama so fat, when she plays hopscotch, it goes like this: New York, Chicago, Detroit, Miami, Los Angeles.
heehee...I challenge you to google Yo Mama jokes and NOT laugh your ass off. G'head. Go. I dare ya!
And now, a list of reasons why I will not be making Mother of the Year (aside from posting distasteful Yo Mama jokes on my blog):
1. Whilst watching Vh1's top 100 Rock Songs, I taught my son to scream "Back in Black" and make the devil horns with his hands.
2. I'm a teeny bit late for his three year check up, because check-ups = hysterical shit-fit and he always manages to somehow pee all over me in the throws of said hysterical shit-fit.
3. Today, while lost in thought over my current WIP, I accidentally let him eat 12 cookies.
4. I let him pick out scratch tickets from the little machines at grocery store.
4. I've convinced him that Paula Dean is his grandmother. (This isn't bad now, but I have a feeling this may confuse him later.)
Now, see, this all may seem shifty now, but I'm convinced it will just make him that much more interesting when he's older.