Caffeine: morning cup + midmorning cappuccino
Evil Calories: none...still recovering from donuts
You what is so annoying about this whole "querying agents" thing? Well, everything, really. But specifically, it's that most agents don't even have the decency to get back to you. Now, email queries I can sort of understand. They read your proposal, dry heave into trash can over your idea, then hit delete. But when you send snail mail queries with a SASE, you'd think they would have the professionalism to respond. I mean, give me something. Take two seconds and cram your form rejection letter in there. Or simply jot on a sticky not "hell no!" and send it off. I even provide you with self-adhesive envelopes so you don't have to lick it or anything.
I know agents are very busy. I know they get four billion queries a day and have existing clients to tend to, etc, etc. And I know they aren't intentionally trying to be mean. But here's my thing. If you say that you accept unsolicited queries, then respond. If you're too busy to do that, then perhaps you should change your website and your listing on AgentQuery.com and in the Writer's Market guide to indicate that you do not take unsolicited queries. Believe me, this would make things easier on both of us. It's less postage, paper and hopeful thought for me, and less piles unwanted mail for you.
Let's face it. Those hopeful thoughts just bog you down anyway. Personally, I think it's much better to write under the guise that it's just a big bag of wank and no one will ever read it anyway.
But that's just me.