Sunday, November 9, 2008


Daily Stats:
Words: ouch
Caffeine: morning cup through straw because coffee cup too heavy
Evil Calories: would require reaching
Reality TV: suspended due to NaNoWriMo

I'm broken. I did something to my neck and holy shit, oh my god, I'm gonna die. It's the muscle starting at the base of my hairline and reaching all the way down to my shoulder blade.
I have NO clue what I did to bring on this agony. I didn't get into a car accident, I didn't jump into any mosh pits, I didn't get stuck in a size 4 blouse at H & M and contort my body in order to free myself (okay, that did happen, but it was like six months ago). I cannot move my head, cannot reach for anything, cannot lay down and, the best part, I can't type for any length of time. It's as if my neck muscle suddenly can no longer bear the burden of holding up my head. Even not moving my head hurts. The only thing that I feel would provide substantial comfort is if I was were suspended entirely in Jell-O.

But, since breathing seems to be an essential part of life and I'm unclear on the oxygen levels in Jell-O, I did the next best thing and dragged myself, shoulders all hunched and crooked, to see good ol' Dr. Soulias. Her first words were, "What the fuck did you do to yourself?" (I love doctors that curse. There's something comforting about it.) Her second words were, "I'm prescribing you Valium." Then I hugged her. It hurt like hell, but it was worth it.

The downside of all this, aside from the obvious (walking like a 90 year old, having to wear one of those foam neck thingys, it taking 30 minutes to put on one sock) is that I can't write more than a paragraph or two without wanting scream and cry, even when I'm on my cocktail of Aleve and Valium. So, I'm officially NaNo-screwed. I'm now approximately 5K words behind. My hope is to make up for lost time this week, however, I'm also preparing for the arrival of my parental units. But, I shan't give up. I will do copious amounts of busting ass, and if I don't make it to 50K by Nov 30th, I'll at least make it to 45K, which is much better than being at nuthin'-K. Right?


Rags said...

Aw no! Hun thats horrid!! Bless you. A friend of mine has slipped a disc in her back, and has to have epidurals every now and then for her treatment! Owwee!

I think you should train your husband like a dictating dictate, he the machine...


Anonymous said...

You poor thing! God, I hope you'll get better soon. Himself fell down the stairs a few months ago and broke his collarbone, and that was horrendous - any and all verbs hurt, even sitting or lying still. Go Valium!

Oh, and Nano-wise: Send someone out for Dragon Naturally speaking, or get a cheap one on eBay. Then talk away and let it type for you. Could be fun after a few painkillers ...!
All the best,

Vivi Alden said...

thank you, my dears, and I love both the ideas!!! Though, hubby is a video editor, but fancies himself an EVERYTHING editor, so if I dictating to him, he'd stop me every 2.6 seconds and try and correct me. Then I'd have to throw my stash of Dove bars at him. But I am feeling MUCH better today. Woohoo Valium!!!

Elizabeth said...

Poor Vivi! You need chicken soup and a foot rub. Have you tried a chiropractor? I screwed my back up earlier this year from being a show off in yoga (earned me 2 weeks of pain and suffering, but hey I wasn't going to be out done by a 20 year old, so in my books it was worth it).
Anyways, I was a chiropracor virgin and a little skeptical. But he was gentle with me and turns out he was an angel from heaven. I saw him daily for a week and then every other day for the next. Now I'm a born again (and still out twisting those perky bitches).

Amy Ellis said...

Poor Sissy! Clive Owen will be there shortly to give you a massage.

Eileen said...

Extra bonus points for writing while in pain. Plus all those meds may give you new creativity