Monday, December 8, 2008

bad hair day

Daily Stats:
Words: where's your hat?
Caffeine: morning cup
Evil Calories: chocolate chip cookie bars
Reality TV: bad things on Vh1 that I won't openly admit watching

Okay. The post-parental unit visit haze has lifted, and I remember where I was in my book. I was standing in the entry way of the apartment with Beatrice, trying not to offend her. Well, I wasn't , my MC was. I was huddling in the corner writing and cramming my face with cool ranch Doritos. By the way, you can't not offend Beatrice. She's just one of those people, but my poor MC is not aware of this yet. She thinks she's just caught Beatrice in an off mood. Silly MC.

Today, I will finally get on with the next chapter. I have vowed not to leave the house, not just for the sake of writing, but we're also having a very bad hair day. And when I saw "we", I mean my poor child. See, hubby and I decided that we weren't going to pay the stinking $15 to take him somewhere so he could scream his head off while some poor woman tries to maneuver scissors around his head. Instead, we pulled out the clippers and went to town. And now it looks like he got his head caught in the vacuum cleaner. It's all patchy and different lengths. It's not even messed up enough to be considered punk rock. It's just bad. And, due to the odd, hair clogged noise the clippers made, any mere suggestion at letting us try and fix it launches operation toddler shit-fit. He's now convinced the clippers are trying to eat his soul. So, until we can come up with a plan B, we're staying in.


Carrie Harris said...

Heh. We do the clipper thing too, and I distinctly remember singing "The Rainbow Connection" at the top of my lungs so he could hear it over the noise.

Big Plain V said...

Will he wear a hat? Cuz that's the advantage of having boys.

Elizabeth said...

I had written this answer that came out all bitter about how kids look cute with bad hair but moms need to look amazing all the time. So intead of leaving it here, I've decided to call my therapist.

Bryan B. said...

So, Ray and Carrie told me to check out your blog.

Your son and mine could start a club. The clippers are his mortal enemy. To quote him: "Clips are stinky butt." And that, friends, is my kid's F-bomb.

Oh, you should probably enact some sort of revenge on Ray and Carrie for pointing me in this direction. I'm good for at least one digressive comment on every post.


Serena Woods said...

This made me laugh. As a writer, as a mom and as a hairdresser.

love it.


Tracey said...

A great excuse for busting out some funky hats, maybe a Santa hat? Then he could be all cute and festive.

Amy Ellis said...

Must send auntie pictures! (course, I realize he's averse to posing, especially after being traumatized by a hair cut)

And must send auntie picture of funny-haired nephew with auntie and auntie's husband. Parental unit who reads signs aloud said that you added said photo to her calendar, but I've not seen it yet!

I'm having a bad grease monkey hair day, too. And our power is STILL out. Not that I can do anything about it since I'm at work, but I keep calling home to see if the answering machine kicks on (because I'm slightly OCD that way), and still no power! Boo!

Vivi Alden said...

Carrie - yep, I kept trying to sing the theme to Go, Diego, Go!, but he just wasn't having any of it!

BPV - He won't wear a hat! He's truly the most opinionated child I've ever encountered. It's a good thing he's cute!

E - Moms are supposed to look amazing all the time? Hmmmm....I didn't get that memo. No wonder all the other moms at the playground give me funny looks :>)

Bryan - If Carrie & Ray sent you, then you must not be right in the head, which means you'll fit in perfectly here! (and I think I may now need to use the phrase "clips are stinky butt" at some point in the future.)

Serena - If you lived ANYWHERE close to us, I would hand him over for an emergency de-badhair-ification!

Tracey - Nope, the boy hates hats. He gets hat rage. If I even pick up his cute little NY yankees cap and walk anywhere in his vicinity, he starts flipping out.

Ms. Ellis - Have you met this child? Asking him to pose for a picture is like asking him to...well, wear a hat, I guess. And yes, I'll send you the link for the pics that parental unit who reads signs aloud informed you of. I've only been meaning to send them to you since, oh, August or so :>)

Amy Ellis said...

Got the photos!

So what happened to the little boy who put every bucket in Party 4 Less on his head because he wanted to wear a hat??

Frankly, I can't imagine WHY he
is SO opinionated. I mean, look at his parents. They're regular wall flowers....

Bryan B. said...

If you use "Clips are stinky butt" - just send $5 to me via my know I got that stuff copywrighted....;)