Words: shut up!
Caffeine: just shut up!!!
Evil Calories: seriously, shut UP! (..and dark chocolate)
Reality TV: a new show called SHUT UP!!!!
I love my library. It's huge yet cozy, and has that yummy library smell. They also have a great selection of books and all the free wi-fi you can handle. And - the kicker for me - they have these adorable little private work stations that make you feel all chic and intellectual. Much better than parking your keyster at a noisy Starbucks for three hours.
So this morning, I go to the library and pick my little station and open my computer and the creative juices just start flowing. EXCEPT WHEN THE DUDE IN THE VOMIT-INDUCING HAWAIIAN SHIRT SHOWS UP AND BLATHERS ON AT TOP VOLUME ON HIS CELL PHONE ABOUT LETTUCE!
Yes, lettuce. YES...LETTUCE! I don't get it either. I was sitting in my adorable little workstation with my cappuccino trying to finish chapter eight, and ass-hat comes walking over, pulls out his cell phone and makes his emergency lettuce call. The lettuce was wilty and brown, and he prefers green leaf, and when you put it in the crisper you should wrap it in paper towel, blablabla. Dude...YOU'RE IN THE LIBRARY!!!!! You know...books? People reading? It's ten in the morning! Why are you complaining about lettuce at ten in the morning? IN THE LIBRARY??
All of my fellow chic intellectuals just looked at me, confused. Why is there suddenly an abundance of lettuce information screaming through our quiet little section? Where's the angry looking librarian with the crooked bun? And why is he wearing a Hawaiian shirt? It's March. All of thirty degrees. I just shrugged, wide-eyed, unable to offer much else.
I had a lot of hope for chapter eight. Now it's just...wilty and brown.