Monday, October 27, 2008

Sticking to The Daily Prophet

Daily Stats:
Words: laundry
Caffeine: morning cup, midmorning cappuccino and laundry
Evil Calories: McDonald's at 10:00 last night. And laundry
Reality TV: laundry

That’s it. I can no longer read the news without wanting to crawl into the closet and hide. I realize that it’s good to stay “informed”, but what the crap am I supposed to do with all this f*cked up information? The only story in the past week that hasn’t made me want to seek out low cost “panic room” installation is the story about how researchers discovered that the stink in farts controls blood pressure. That’s nice kids…now, how are we coming on that cure for cancer?

(By the way, I'm not kidding. It was one of Yahoo's top stories yesterday. Read it here.)

I have no doubt the world has been full of wackadoodles since the dawn of man, but it just seems like you can’t swing a dead cat these days without hitting a total narcissistic, sociopathic loon. I’ve had this conversation many times with my pal Shannon. We often try and figure out if A) the world is more of a sick and messed up place now, or if B) the world has always been a sick and messed up place but, thanks to the media machine, you just hear about it more now. I can't quite make up my mind. All I know is that in some ways I think we were better behaved as a society when we thought thunder was caused by the gods being all pissed off at us.


Amy Ellis said...

I blame the 24/7 media beast. They tell us things that we never used to know unless it happened right in our own town.

I think we can also blame Paris Hilton. I'm pretty sure she's the anti-Christ.

Or it might be Madonna.

Vivi Alden said...

Oooh...careful about the Madonna hatin'. Elizabeth will throw things at you :>)

(ps - that's so funny, I almost added a "is it Paris Hilton's fault?" line in my post.)

Amy Ellis said...

I can't help the Madonna hatin'. Who would dump Guy Ritchie for the gym and A. Rod? So sorry, Elizabeth. :-p

Elizabeth said...

I don't want to talk about it.

Big Plain V said...

We live in a big world with lots of wonderful things happening everyday, in every town. Inspirational things. Cheerful things. Historical things. And not a one of them profitable to the media.

They deliberately keep people in a borderline state of terror. For profit. I think that probably fits the definition of evil, don't you?

Carrie Harris said...

Yeah, every time the news comes on, I stick my fingers in my ears and yell LALALALA! at the top of my lungs.

And thunder IS caused by the gods. Ramrod told me.

Vivi Alden said...

E-beth, don't worry, we know she'll bounce back and end up with some 20 year-old Ashton Kutcher type. And, not that I read them, but I saw a rag mag that said Guy called her fat and old. That's just rude!

BPV - I totally agree, and I know many people can't stand him, but Michael Moore made light of this in Fahrenheit 9/11. He had a whole reel of news reports (many from WDIV, which is one of my news stations) that had no other purpose but to just scare the ever living crap out of people.

Vivi Alden said...

Carrie - I'm seriously considering the "lalalala" approach. (or I may sing theme song to Three's Company, which pops into my head from time to time for no reason.)

All hail Ramrod, to whom we sacrifice our most treasured Meijer waffles.

Amy Ellis said...

Damn you, sissy, now I have the theme song to Three's Company playing in my head.

No worries, Elizabeth. I had the same reaction when Brad dumped Jen.

Amy Ellis said...

Hey, I just found some good news for you! It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown is on ABC tonight!

Tracey said...

B) the world has always been a sick and messed up place but, thanks to the media machine, you just hear about it more now

I thought Sarah Palin was the anti-Christ ...

And I heard Madonna called Guy Ritchie an emotional retard ... Apparently she's been downright nasty during her concert tour. One of the moms at the kid's swimming lessons went and said Madonna went off of this bitchy tear because not everyone in the audience was up and gettin' into the grove. Seems the girl is having a bit of a meltdown. Sorry E.

Elise Murphy said...

Yep. Definitely the media-beast. You only used to need to hear about your own small town serial killers and mass murders. It SEEMS like a worse world since we hear all about the wacked-out news all across America. I'm not sure I need CNN to send me a lengthy article about a devastating house fire in Detroit when I live in Washington. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.